The fact of the matter is, we don’t talk openly about what’s required for women to have a good sexual experience and most heterosexual women learn the mechanics of sex from movies or from what a male partner tells them.
For too long the sexual pleasure of women has been defined by the expectations of a man and created by a patriarchal society that has neglected to ask a very important question – what do women like?
Conventional porn is not made with women in mind. Millions, if not billions, of women masturbate, but many of the products being marketed to women centre around the idea of ‘wellness’, not unabashed pleasure. The truth is, women just like sex. And, they like orgasms because they feel good.
Men have no issues talking about their needs and desires, yet female satisfaction is often ignored or stigmatized.
It’s time that women’s sexual enjoyment takes its place in the cultural conversation.
A recent study in Britain found that only 46 per cent of respondents – regardless of gender –correctly identified that women have three “holes” down below.
If women aren’t attuned with their body, this only feeds the sex power imbalance. Proper sexual education leads to healthier gender dynamics. A woman’s ability to control her own body has been acknowledged as one of the first steps to secure any other form of empowerment.
Research also shows us that up to 67 percent of women who have experienced penile-vaginal intercourse have faked orgasms. Why? In many cases it centres around not wanting to hurt a man’s feelings or his ego. Women have spent too long prioritizing our sexual responses to please men.
Let’s embrace the idea that our sexual enjoyment is for ourselves.
The knowledge gap related to female pleasure and sexual education has prompted the creation of a number of sextech start-ups – a market that is expected to reach $37.2 billion dollars by 2023. But many are not just focussing on sexual exploration, but also kickstarting conversations around female sexual function in health and medicine.
It’s about time.
Our sexuality and sexual experiences shape who we are and can have a significant impact on all other aspects of our life. But first, women need to feel free to connect with our sexual self and champion our own pleasure.